Post by shinigami on Nov 19, 2008 15:59:07 GMT -8
Darren's voicemail kicks in with the exceedingly simple: "This is Darren's phone. Leave a message."
The first message.
A woman's who has a voice as cool as a stiletto made of ice; a woman whose voice was winter:
"Darren. This is Grace. You may not remember me. We've been married for over a century. Does that refresh your memory? Now, you know how loathe I am to talk to you, so I'll consider the fact that you haven't returned any of my calls to be an indication that you're ready to try and please me. You are failing. I need to talk to you about -- "
Deleted!
Jakob's voice. Sleep-burred, a little drunk and far too loud. "HEY. DARREN. DAAAARREN. ARE YOU STILL MAD? NOT CRAZY, ha ha, of COURSE you're still CRAZY, but mad? Because I heard you LEFT THE FAR EAST (is it the near East when you're -- oh, thank you. Mm. -chuckle- Yes, I think you're pretty too. Careful there. If you spill any, I'ma have you lick it up -- oh, clumsy girl. Mmhmm. There's a girl. Thaaat's right. Let me see you're really sorry, I -- ) Oh, right, DARREN. I heard you LEFT the Far east and I have left Russia and YOU are in Las Vegas and GUESS WHERE I AM? Long story. It involves a CRAZY woman. No, sweetheart, not your kind of crazy."
Deleted!!
A girl's voice. Also sleepy sounding. "Hi, Dad. I'm just checking in. Love you. Hey, there's this house I wanted to buy; do you mind if I take some of the family money? Love you again. Bye."
Deleted!
A woman's voice, all cream and shadow, archly amused. Not his wife's. "Hello, Dare. Call me back. We should have fun."
Deleted!
A man's voice. "Uh. Mister Mueller? I looked into that apartment. Uh. Complex. And those two. Uh. Those two who are in that one. That one apartment. Uh, and I've started. Uh. Trying to get close to the sparkly one. But it's not easy. Because, uh. I know you don't want to hear that. But uh. I just wanted you to know that I am working on it. Did you want me to pick up your drycleaning?"
Deleted!
Jakob, again. "Hey. Look, Darren. I know I was a little drunk before, but seriously, where the fuck are you, bro? We need to get together and talk."
Deleted!
Jakob, again. "Darren. Call me back or I'll have to drop by unannounced. I know how you hate that. Maybe I'll do it anyway."
Deleted!
Jakob, one more time. "Darren, I am officially going to kick your lily-white ass. Where are you?"
The first message.
A woman's who has a voice as cool as a stiletto made of ice; a woman whose voice was winter:
"Darren. This is Grace. You may not remember me. We've been married for over a century. Does that refresh your memory? Now, you know how loathe I am to talk to you, so I'll consider the fact that you haven't returned any of my calls to be an indication that you're ready to try and please me. You are failing. I need to talk to you about -- "
Deleted!
Jakob's voice. Sleep-burred, a little drunk and far too loud. "HEY. DARREN. DAAAARREN. ARE YOU STILL MAD? NOT CRAZY, ha ha, of COURSE you're still CRAZY, but mad? Because I heard you LEFT THE FAR EAST (is it the near East when you're -- oh, thank you. Mm. -chuckle- Yes, I think you're pretty too. Careful there. If you spill any, I'ma have you lick it up -- oh, clumsy girl. Mmhmm. There's a girl. Thaaat's right. Let me see you're really sorry, I -- ) Oh, right, DARREN. I heard you LEFT the Far east and I have left Russia and YOU are in Las Vegas and GUESS WHERE I AM? Long story. It involves a CRAZY woman. No, sweetheart, not your kind of crazy."
Deleted!!
A girl's voice. Also sleepy sounding. "Hi, Dad. I'm just checking in. Love you. Hey, there's this house I wanted to buy; do you mind if I take some of the family money? Love you again. Bye."
Deleted!
A woman's voice, all cream and shadow, archly amused. Not his wife's. "Hello, Dare. Call me back. We should have fun."
Deleted!
A man's voice. "Uh. Mister Mueller? I looked into that apartment. Uh. Complex. And those two. Uh. Those two who are in that one. That one apartment. Uh, and I've started. Uh. Trying to get close to the sparkly one. But it's not easy. Because, uh. I know you don't want to hear that. But uh. I just wanted you to know that I am working on it. Did you want me to pick up your drycleaning?"
Deleted!
Jakob, again. "Hey. Look, Darren. I know I was a little drunk before, but seriously, where the fuck are you, bro? We need to get together and talk."
Deleted!
Jakob, again. "Darren. Call me back or I'll have to drop by unannounced. I know how you hate that. Maybe I'll do it anyway."
Deleted!
Jakob, one more time. "Darren, I am officially going to kick your lily-white ass. Where are you?"
